To Love and To Work
Freud said a healthy person should know how to love and how to work. Modern employees are doing both while switching roles all day long.
“Good morning. I’m Miss Mae.”
I smiled for a second after saying it out loud because life keeps introducing me to new versions of myself.
My May started inside a Math classroom.
Two years ago, my mornings looked completely different. I spent my days inside project meetings, client escalations, governance calls, UAT sessions, deployment discussions, and training workshops across global teams.
My brain switched between business users, development teams, deadlines, defects, and client concerns all day long.
Now I explain Math lessons, monitor classroom energy, and remind students to charge their Chromebooks before class.
I love both versions of my life because both taught me how people work.
The Version of You at Work Is Not the Only Version
People in corporate environments love saying “wear multiple hats.” I understand the phrase well because I’ve worn many myself. I’ve worked as a:
Call Center Agent
Tier 1 Support
Soft Skills Trainer
Business Analyst
Project Manager
Knowledge Manager
Customer Success Manager
Program Integration Team Lead
People Lead
Then, outside work, another set of responsibilities awaited:
Mom
Wife
Daughter, Sister, Relative
ESL Tutor
Friend
Mental Wellness Advocate
Active Local Community Member
One role teaches technical skills.
Another role teaches patience.
Another role teaches endurance.
Another role teaches humility.
People talk about workload all the time. I think the harder part comes from switching emotional energy throughout the day. You finish one difficult meeting and immediately help your child with homework. You answer emails while folding laundry. You attend a networking event at night because you still want to learn and stay relevant in an AI-enabled world.
You wake up tired and still choose to teach, guide, help, support, and solve problems.
Modern Work Drains More Than Time
Most professionals are managing invisible emotional labor while performing professionally. People are navigating:
career changes
financial pressure
caregiving
identity changes
burnout
global teams
uncertainty about AI
pressure to remain productive no matter what happens at home
Then companies wonder why communication breaks down. Most employees are mentally switching tabs all day long.
A person joins a Zoom call while under pressure at home.
A manager responds to emails while worrying about aging parents.
A teammate working the night shift misses a deadline because their mental battery already collapsed three hours earlier.
The emotional side of work affects performance more than most leaders want to admit.
Relationship Management Should Be Part of Onboarding
This is why I keep thinking Relationship Management belongs inside every company’s New Hire Training curriculum. It’s a must-have core operational skill, not an optional nice-to-have people topic.
Without it, how will teams build trust? How will people survive pressure, conflict, deadlines, misunderstandings, personality differences, and constant change?
Most workplace problems begin long before the software fails.
Teams fail when communication breaks down.
Projects fail when expectations stay unclear.
Employees disengage when trust disappears.
Relationship Management affects:
collaboration
accountability
leadership
customer trust
team morale
retention
productivity
Companies spend thousands of dollars on platforms, dashboards, and AI tools. Then they underinvest in the human skills required to operate those systems well.
To Love and To Work
I recently revisited a quote from Erik Erikson’s 1968 book Identity: Youth and Crisis.
He wrote:
“Freud was once asked what he thought a normal person should be able to do well. The questioner probably expected a complicated, deep answer. But Freud simply said, ‘Lieben und arbeiten’ (to love and to work).”
That line,
to love and to work…
Most adults spend their lives balancing those two things. Relationship Management sits right in the middle of both.
The way you communicate affects your marriage.
The way you regulate your emotions affects your leadership.
The way you handle stress affects your teammates.
The way you manage your energy affects your family at the end of the day.
People separate “work skills” and “life skills” too much. In reality, the same human being walks into both rooms.
What 7 Client Accounts Taught Me About People
Back when I was a Customer Success Manager of seven accounts, I quickly learned that strong working relationships reduce friction. I worked with overlapping developers, support specialists, team leads, and business analysts across multiple projects. We already understood each other’s communication styles. We trusted each other. We solved problems faster because the context was already shared.
And honestly, speaking Tag-Lish with Filipino teammates during stressful weeks made the workload feel less stressful.
People underestimate how much emotional safety affects performance.
A team performs differently when people feel safe asking questions.
A project moves faster when teammates trust each other’s intent.
Meetings improve when communication feels human instead of political.
The strongest teams I worked with did not rely only on technical skill.
They knew how to work well with people.
No Software Fixes Distrust
No workflow fixes poor communication. No documentation can fix resentment within a team. A healthy workplace runs on relationships first.
The older I get, the more I notice this pattern across schools, companies, startups, and client environments.
You can buy the most expensive CRM, implement AI, or automate half the workflow.
Still, if employees avoid difficult conversations, ignore emotional burnout, or fail to communicate responsibly, the system eventually breaks down. Technology improves operations. Relationships determine whether operations survive pressure.
The 9 AM Version of You
If I designed a Relationship Management curriculum today, I would start with Energy Management. Most people overestimate how much energy they have in a day.
I don’t care whether a person lists three action items or twenty-three. I care whether they understand their own battery well enough to commit responsibly.
If you tell me at 3 PM, “Sorry, I’m too tired to finish this,” then part of the issue started earlier in the day.
Do hard tasks early.
Do mentally draining work while your brain still feels fresh.
Protect your best energy for your highest-value responsibilities.
The 9 AM version of you thinks differently from the 5 PM version.
I learned this lesson through work, motherhood, burnout, and recovery.
Last week at an event, I heard several people say, “I’m so tired,” and I understood exactly what they meant.
Couldn’t help but think,
Do you love the reason you’re tired?
I do.
I feel tired after substitute teaching, after client work, after networking events about AI-enabled businesses, after cleaning the kitchen, and after playing Pusoy Dos with my tween before bedtime.
Still, many of those responsibilities belong to a life I once prayed for. That thought changes my attitude fast.
Rest matters.
Sleep matters.
Mental wellness matters. Your body will always tell the truth about your limits.
But language affects perspective, too.
So when I catch myself saying “Pagod,” (the Filipino word for tired), I try to replace it with “Praise God.”
Praise God, I still get opportunities to learn.
Praise God, people trust me enough to ask for help.
Praise God, my son still wants to spend time with me.
Praise God, I still get to teach.
Even inside a Math classroom at the beginning of May.
Build Better Teams Before Buying Another Platform
If you’re building a team right now and your employees feel disconnected, exhausted, overwhelmed, or constantly misunderstood by one another, your issue probably runs deeper than productivity.
Most teams don’t need another tool first.
They need better communication habits, stronger onboarding, healthier workflows, and leaders who understand how people operate under pressure.
This is the kind of work I care about deeply.
I help teams simplify operations, improve training, strengthen adoption, and build systems people can realistically use without burning out the humans behind them.
If your organization needs support around:
onboarding and training
workflow improvement
cross-functional communication
relationship management
team operations
process simplification + documentation
Send me a message, or connect with me here. I love helping good people work better together.