Mental Health and Medical Care in the US
From the lens of an immigrant mom
When it comes to healthcare in the United States, my experiences have been eye-opening, challenging, and often frustrating.
Here, I’ll share my stories through different facets of the U.S. healthcare system, particularly around mental health.
I hope this sheds light on what it’s like navigating this system, especially when dealing with mental health, family support, and the complexities of insurance.
A Holiday Crisis: Mental Health Treatment in Texas
In 2016, we planned to celebrate the holiday season in Texas with my sister-in-law and her husband. But what was supposed to be a festive time turned into something else entirely. I had been dealing with a bipolar manic episode, likely triggered by:
Exhaustion from frequent work trips between New York and Ohio
Balancing work with caring for my then three-year-old son
The impact of Seasonal Affective Disorder, as winter in New York makes me miss home even more
The cultural difference in celebrating holidays, which felt isolating
During our vacation, I was in the bathroom with my son. I put him on the sink while I quickly used the restroom (one hand still holding him). My sister-in-law saw this and was alarmed, thinking he might fall. That moment set off a chain of concern. My husband, his sister, and her husband decided that, for my safety and my son’s, I should go to a mental health facility.
The Experience Inside
Being admitted wasn’t a new experience for me (been in mental facilities twice, in the Philippines), but that didn’t make it easier. It felt like betrayal. All I needed, I thought, was a chance to rest — real, quality sleep. Instead, I spent December 24 to January 2 inside that facility. I was so angry!
Inside, I did my best to be aware and awake. Twice a day, we were given antipsychotic medications. I saw others struggle with basic movements and speech. I knew that if I didn’t keep it together, I’d risk becoming like that — sluggish and detached. A future version of myself was right in front, and I didn’t like it.
Our daily routine included:
Early breakfast
Exercise (I enjoyed basketball!)
Music, Arts and Crafts
I once went inside a restricted room and called 911. An attendant quickly stopped me, reminding me that outside calls weren’t allowed. All I wanted to do was get out of there!
It felt surreal to watch New Year’s Eve fireworks from a hospital window, knowing my little boy was out there, and I was missing holiday moments with him.
Reflections on Mental Health Care
Looking back, I don’t blame the facility. They treated us with the best they could. But I wish there was more understanding of basic needs in mental health crises. Sometimes, sleep and proper support can make a huge difference.
In my case and in my opinion, institutionalization wasn’t necessary. Sleep, care and support would have been enough. Since then, my husband and even my now 11-year-old son know that sleep is my medicine. If I’m cranky in the morning, it’s most probably because I didn’t sleep well.
My Son’s Surgery and the Role of Insurance
Another experience with healthcare happened during my son’s surgery in 2021. He had a small lump on his neck, and his pediatrician recommended seeing a specialist. It turned out to be benign, but surgery was advised to prevent future issues.
The hospital was excellent in explaining the procedure, but their first question was, “Do you have insurance?” I’ve noticed that in the U.S., access to treatment often seems dependent on your insurance status. It’s as if treatment is conditional, only granted if you’re “covered.”
My Husband’s Breakdown: Another Test of the System
More recently, my husband experienced a mental breakdown. He was hallucinating and burnt out from his job. It got so intense that he ended up being taken to the hospital by ambulance.
I was overwhelmed, remembering my own hospitalization in Texas and dreading the possibility of handling everything alone if he were admitted long-term.
The hospital’s recommendation for him was intensive outpatient group therapy. It was helpful at first, but he soon realized that hearing about others’ struggles weighed on him, and he started bringing that energy home.
After speaking with his counselor, we decided it would be better for him to see a personal therapist.
However, it was difficult to find a recommendation for a therapist because the hospital’s departments apparently compete over who gets billed.
The counselor empathized with us and kindly suggested a few contacts to pursue outside the hospital.
The Maze of Insurance and Billing
Navigating insurance has been its own ordeal. Here are some of the major challenges we faced:
Understanding Co-pays and Out-of-Pocket Costs: Insurance explained the basics but advised us to contact the hospital’s billing department.
No Face-to-Face Communication: Billing was outsourced, meaning we could only reach them by phone. Repeated calls led us through endless automated options without reaching a live person.
Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Missteps: Even when we reached out to our EAP, the agent simply updated our home address instead of offering actual support.
These obstacles make it incredibly hard to get straightforward answers. It’s exhausting, especially when you’re already dealing with a health crisis.
I wish medical billing and insurance could be simplified so everyone can access the care they need without all the red tape.
Closing Thoughts: Where Can We Improve?
Reflecting on these experiences, here’s my final thought:
Listen First: Often, all someone needs is a chance to rest and recharge. Support should come in the form of basic needs before jumping to institutionalization.
Better Insurance Communication: Navigating insurance should be simple and transparent, with clear explanations of costs and coverage.
More Compassionate Care: Mental health is as vital as physical health, yet the system can feel impersonal. Greater empathy from healthcare providers and insurers alike would go a long way.
To anyone going through something similar, know you’re not alone. Healthcare, especially mental health care, is an uphill battle, but sharing our stories can hopefully bring awareness and change.
That must have been hard to write. Thank you. More listening is definitely needed. Along with quality action, of course. Be proud of yourself, Mae!