Mental Health and Family Support: What I’ve Learned
Family support is crucial, but you need to communicate openly
It kills me to say this, but -
after my first hospitalization in 2012, I realized having a supportive Filipino family didn’t mean I’m fully understood with my mental condition.
As much as they did their best, their knowledge didn’t align with my lived experience. I’ve spent more than 10 years navigating this. Here’s what I’ve learned—and how you can apply it to support yourself or a loved one.
The Importance of Family Support
My family is from the Bicol region of the Philippines. The image above is a picture I took in 2022, when I was with them. They’ve always been a core part of my life.
While family can be your biggest support system, they may not always know what to do, what to say, or how to help, especially when it comes to mental health. Even with the best intentions, they may struggle to understand the emotional and practical support you truly need.
Here’s what can help bridge that gap:
Initiate honest conversations
Clearly explain how you’re feeling without assuming they already know.
Encourage active listening
Ask them to listen without jumping to conclusions or offering solutions right away.
Create shared activities
Doing simple things together, like watching a show, can create moments of connection.
Your family doesn’t need to “fix” everything—they just need to be there for you.
I remember my sister telling me how 'bratty' I seemed during my manic episodes. Hearing the hurtful things I said wasn’t easy for her, but she learned to stay calm, recognizing that it wasn’t me speaking—it was the episode.
Her patience, in those times, showed me how powerful it is when family members choose to be steady and non-reactive. She didn’t need to change me, her quiet presence and patience were exactly what I needed.
Overcoming Mental Health Stigma
When I returned to work, I shared my mental health experience too soon. I wasn’t prepared for the reaction. A colleague’s response to hearing I had been in a mental health center was -
“Isn’t that where crazy people are held?”
That comment stung, leaving me feeling exposed and misunderstood. It made me rethink how I share my story.
Here’s how you can navigate stigma effectively:
Be selective with your audience
Share your story only with people you trust and who make you feel safe.
Practice self-compassion
Don’t let others’ misconceptions define how you feel about yourself.
Set clear boundaries
Be firm about what you’re comfortable discussing, and don’t feel pressured to overshare.
The goal is to protect your energy and help break stigma on your own terms.
Managing Anxiety and Overwhelm
After my hospitalization, anxiety and financial stress overwhelmed me. I felt lost and didn’t know where to go next. What helped most was focusing on what I could control, no matter how small. Each morning, I listened to my intuition and learned to be kind to myself again through self-acceptance.
Here are strategies that made a difference:
Prioritize and break down tasks
Ground yourself in routines like walking or writing
Listen to the body’s cues when thirsty, hungry or sleepy.
By focusing on these small actions, I was able to prevent my anxiety from spiraling.
Mental Health in Filipino Culture
In Filipino culture, family and community are central. While this is often a source of strength, it can also mean mental health conversations are avoided, leaving those struggling feeling isolated.
Here’s how you can approach cultural barriers:
Share educational resources
Introduce your family to reliable information about mental health.
Have open, gentle conversations
Talk about mental health in simple terms that relate to everyday life.
Find support beyond family
If your family isn’t ready or able to help, seek communities, groups, or professionals who can provide the support you need.
Cultural shifts take time, but each conversation can help change perspectives.
Moving Forward with Purpose
On tough days, focus on the present moment. When everything feels overwhelming, even tiny acts (like smiling in the mirror or taking deep breaths) can help you regain a sense of purpose and direction.
Practical steps to stay grounded:
Prioritize your well-being
Take care of yourself first. Everyone benefits when you’re at your best.
Acknowledge your divinity
Even when things feel over-stimulating, remind yourself that you matter and that there’s guidance all around. All we need to be is to open up and receive.
Final Thoughts
Family support can make a world of difference, but it may take time for them to fully understand you. Overcoming stigma starts with choosing how and when to share your story. It takes courage, it takes willpower, and it takes finding strength in your voice.
Educating your family about mental health can help shift cultural perspectives. Above all, remember to move forward with service to others in your heart. Your story is powerful!
By applying these lessons, you’ll build a stronger, more supportive system around you.