8,500 Miles: What I Learned from Migrating
Adapting, growing, and finding strength through change
A Decision That Changed Everything
Ten years ago, we moved 8,500 miles from the Philippines to New York with our 1-year-old son. We only knew the city from Home Alone and Friends. It was both exciting and terrifying.
I didn’t realize how much this decision would shape me—how much I would learn, or the resilience I’d discover along the way.
What Moving Teaches You
Migrating to a new country requires a change in your mindset. There’s adjusting to new realities, the ins and outs of an unfamiliar surrounding.
Here’s what I learned.
1. You Become Open to New Perspectives
New York is a diverse, vibrant place, full of people from all walks of life. This taught me to open up to different voices, experiences and eventually, friendships.
A commonality I found with the moms at my son’s school was, many of us were from different countries, where English wasn’t our first language. These differences brought us closer.
I quickly realized the world is much bigger than I thought. Embracing those differences made me a
better human
better parent
better colleague
2. How NYC Subways Taught Me About Boundaries
One of the first things you learn in New York is the importance of personal space, especially on the subway. Respecting physical boundaries naturally leads to setting other boundaries in life, like emotional boundaries.
Saying “no” when needed and prioritizing your own needs without guilt is key to personal growth and joy.
What I like is that, even in the cramped subway, people still find ways to be respectful and kind. Contrary to the rough image often portrayed in media, New Yorkers know how to coexist—reinforcing that boundaries, when respected, create a more positive and harmonious space for all.
3. Building Resilience During Homesickness
Homesickness hit hard, especially in the beginning and during winter. There were days I missed family gatherings, the Filipino food, hearing my native language Bicolano. But in the process, I learned resilience.
Forming a tribe during tough times is a must — people who share similar experiences. We built a community that helped ease the feeling of homesickness, proving that you can create “home” wherever you are, by building strong connections. Now, Thanksgiving has become an annual get-together with friends-turned-family, a celebration that fills the gap.
From Toddler to Middle Schooler
The 1-year-old in the picture above is now 11, enjoying middle school so far and even coaching me on diction and keeping up with Gen Alpha slang! His growth reflects the ups and downs we've experienced together.
I still remember those early days—pushing a stroller on a freezing winter day, struggling to get through a subway station without an elevator. My husband and I would carry the stroller up and down the stairs, carefully balancing so we didn’t slip. Subways in winter are far from child-friendly, but we made it.
Looking back, those moments remind me how far we’ve come and make us appreciate the small pleasures of life today.
Finding Strength in Change
Yes, moving is change in scenery. More importantly, it’s a transformation. It would challenge you to adapt and find strength you didn’t know you had.
From learning about credit scores to figuring out school zoning, and balancing the increased responsibilities of being an “onshore” resource compared to my previous role as an “offshore” employee, the challenges were many.
But moving reminded me that change, while uncomfortable, often reveals new skills and abilities.
Those tough moments push you to grow in ways you never expected.
Final Thought
When life presents an opportunity, even if it feels overwhelming, take it.
You never know how much you’ll grow or what you’ll learn.
When the chance comes to make a big move, trust that you’ll emerge stronger.
My question for you - what’s the biggest change you’ve embraced, and how has it shaped you?